Are you a people pleaser?
I know many compassionate people who will always think of everyone else first and put their wants and needs last. Always. Even when everything inside them screams NO! NO, I don’t want to do this thing. NO, I don’t want to be with this person. NO, I don’t want to do my work and my coworker’s work too.
Why do they do it?
Because they are often very nice people. Peacemakers. They never want to disappoint anyone. They are compulsively concerned with the emotional needs of others rather than their own. They identify with duty, role, and responsibility to their work in the world rather than their own true selves. And they tend to suppress healthy anger which is hard on the body. They are what has been labeled people pleasers and they often suffer from chronic disease symptoms.
I know. I was a people pleaser. I suffered for decades with chronic fatigue, Lyme disease, anxiety, autoimmune dysfunction, and severe neuropathy, because my vibration was in alignment with these body ailments. The body is the perfect builder, not the architect. Each of these symptoms were pointing to my deep-seated fear, but I wasn’t getting the message.
All that changed for me when I faced the fear and released it. The fear? That I wouldn’t be liked if I didn’t do what everyone wanted me to do. That I wasn’t a good person if I didn’t help everyone else first, even when exhausted.
I found it interesting that when those who were dying were asked their prime regret, the number one answer was that they didn’t live true to themselves. They said they wished they had had the courage to live a life true to themselves, and not the life others expected of them.
We only ever get to live our life, think our thoughts, feel our feelings, take action on our dreams. We can’t do any of these things for anyone else. We have been given a miraculous moment in time to be a vessel for creation to express through us based on our direction of thought and feeling.
That’s big.
And here’s another truth: true friends celebrate your authenticity. They want you to be 100 percent you. Suppression of self is second nature and doesn’t feel good. Retrieve your first authentic nature by saying no when you want to say it. Here’s a few questions you may find useful:
Where in your life are you not saying no—where a no wants to be said but you’re not saying it?
What is your belief behind not saying no?
Where did you learn this belief that if you say no then you’re not likeable? Or feel guilty? Or feel as if you’re not worthwhile?
Who would you be without that belief?
When you are the person you were always meant to be and not some version of who you think others need you to be, you feel better, lighter, more enthused and joyful. Guess who that ends up helping?
Everyone.
And as always, I’m available for individual sessions. All sessions include deep energy support and loving intuitive guidance to heal emotional/physical pain and confusion so you can live your best life. Click here to schedule.
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